Good Friday II

I left you right at nap time on Good Friday.  After a little four hour snooze (don’t judge, we’re on vacation!) Sam said that we had to go outside and move around.  I wasn’t so sure.  The heat turned me into a jello version of myself and I protested.  For my own good, Sam rolled  me out the door anyway. The air smelled like incense and outside the church a huge crowd was gathered for a Good Friday service.  We watched that for a while and took pictures of the people at the front who were taking pictures of whatever was really happening.

We weren’t sure what to do next, so we followed the crowd.  All the Central American tourists were lined up to ride a tractor decorated with Christmas lights that was blasted out songs people seemed to know all the words to.  We got ourselves a Fanta Roja (red is Sam’s new favorite flavor) and got in line.  Let me tell you, getting on this tractor was no small feat. 

The crowd surged forward as soon as the tractor came to a stop and people were pushing to get on and pushing to get off.  Sam and I had to step on some little kids to get a seat in the front row (just kidding, we rarely step on kids!).    

This is me on the train.  I tried to make friends with the little girl sitting next to me, but she was having none of it.  She knew I was far too tall to be safe.  She kept a suspicious eye on me the whole trip.

As it turned out, all the trouble we had starting out Good Friday seemed to have reversed itself and every adventure we undertook went well in the evening.  For instance, normally sitting on top of a gigantic speaker would be my worst nightmare (from the woman who always has ear plugs on hand in case decibels get to dangerous levels).  But as luck would have it, the speakers weren’t working and instead Sam and I got an acrobatic show as two young men switched out speakers, rewired the thing, and tried all number of dangerous repairs, all while the tractor was in motion.  It was definitely worth the fifty cent admission.

Our next stop was at a kiosk in the square which Sam had been wanting to try since we got to Granada.  

Sam slightly wistful that his beans and rice were over so soon

It was wonderful, and we were serenaded (for a small fee) by these people who sang the Nicaraguan national anthem to us:

Just as we were heading home, the magic really happened.  At last the Good Friday parade was heading right for us, and it was worth the wait.

I also have extensive video footage upon request

Good Friday

I may have mentioned to you before that it is kind of hot here.  Last night, Sam and I had a hilariously bad sleep experience.  Our sheets seemed to have this will to not be on the bed and every time either of us moved an inch we found ourselves in direct contact with the mattress.  It was too hot to sleep and we kept getting up, adjusting the sheets and spraying ourselves with more bug spray.  Oh the romance!  In the end, the solution we came to was to sleep with our faces about five inches from the fan, upside down on the bed.  As a result we were able to sleep for several minutes at a time.

These are new sheets, we are hoping for the best

We woke up to the sound of a tuba and drums on the street.  It was the Good Friday parade!  Every time we went outside we had just missed it.  Here is a picture of one of the times we missed it.

If you squint you can see Jesus in the distance

After that, we hired an Abuela (I'm not exactly sure whose grandma she was) to teach us how to make a traditional Nicaraguan meal of tamales and rice and beans.  This experience brings a smile to my face even as I write about it.  First off we went to the market to buy ingredients.  This is the market.

While I know that you guys are jealous of all these adventures, let me assure you that there are benefits to seeing the pictorial version of the market.  In person, the piles of raw chicken and fish and the crowds of people can be almost too rich of a cultural experience.  I get overwhelmed on the strip in Nashville, so a very narrow walkway through big crowds in foreign lands is challenging for this chica.

This picture was not taken from the top of a hill.  I'm just a giantess.

Unfortunately for us there were no banana leaves to be had (blame it on Easter) and so the tamales were a no go.  The beans and rice just plain got lost in translation--I'm still not sure what happened to them.  In the end, we went with the traditional yucca, salad and pork skins dinner.  I knew when I heard "chicharrón" it struck a bad chord with me, but I didn't know why until it was too late.  I think that our cooking team must truly have thought we were crazy that we hired them so we could watch them boil yucca, cut up tomatoes and cabbage, and put pig skins on a plate.

Grandma gives the yucca a rough chop and they are good to go

Luckily this led to the best quote of the trip so far:

Sam's culinary fearlessness is one of his best qualities

Me: "Sam, how do you like the pig skin?"

Sam (without a trace of sarcasm): "I'm not sure, the hairs are a little disconcerting..."

We paid Grandma, thanked her profusely, and then went out for an old school hobbit tradition we like to call second lunch.

Chicken Fajita Nachos (not pictured here--air conditioning!)

And we lived happily ever after.

Muy Caliente

Well, yesterday I took my laziness to new levels.  While Sam made six trips back and forth to try and schedule a Spanish lesson, I did a lot of sitting at different locations.  In my defense, I think I should say that the weather here was somewhere in the high nineties with 75% humidity.  Life without air conditioning requires a lot of sitting and radical acceptance, which I'm working on practicing.  I have noticed an increased amount of grumpiness in both Sam and I about matters which we would normally be able to handle, such as who got the biggest piece of chocolate.  I'm sure you are feeling very sorry for us and want me to write more about our sad life, but I will stop there.  So since we couldn't be bothered to take a take a taxi to the volcano or see any prescribed sites, here is what we did see...

Blurry people riding bikes!  Aren't you glad you read this blog?  I'm fascinated by how people travel in other countries.  I guess when you come from a culture where people have to stay in a car seat until they're five, it is a shock to see little babies being balanced on someone's leg as they ride a bike down the street.  Really, that must take a lot of talent.  I've been trying throughout my travels to take pictures of great examples of this, but the trick of bike photography is that you have to be fast on the draw with your camera, which I'm not.  I will persevere!

It is Easter week here, which means EVERYONE is out on the street celebrating.  According to our host there are 50,000 drunk Nicaraguans down by the lake living it up for the holiday, but we are taking his word for it as I get claustrophobic in a crowd of only two or three drunk people.  Sam and I spent quite a bit of time sitting in the square by the main church, which was a quieter area.

I love to see the carriages peppered throughout the cars and bicycles on the street. 

You are pretty much getting a blow by blow photo narrative of my sitting in the square now.  These men had a heated conversation that lasted several hours, not that I was there that long...

After awhile we decided we had spent all our reserves sitting and it was time for a snack.  We headed right for the...

Our Nicaragua expert (yay, Megan!) recommended we try these little buddies.  There are tortillas filled with cheese and pickled onions and they were quite good.  I don't know how they do this, but they have slices of cheese the exact shape of the tortilla which greatly impressed me.  After that we took a little walk down to a church and to photograph a fruit tree and buy Sandinista postcards.

Sam y the church

Sam y the weird fruit

Sam y the Sandinista postcard-- the heat was getting to him at this point

Yesterday was so hot I couldn't even be bothered to put on makeup because it just falls off your face.  Who am I?  What is happening to the world as we know it?

We finished off the day with a beautiful dinner.  I had the recommended carne asada (again, yay Megan) and it was wonderful.  We all know I'm a sucker for twinkle lights so our choice of restaurant added up to an unparalleled dining experience.

I had to adjust a setting on my camera to take this picture and thus I'm ridiculously proud of it

Nicaragua!

Buenos dias, Amgios!  Well, as you know, you can go months without a peep from me and then all of a sudden I pop up again. Since Christmas, things have happened, yada yada yada, and now I've quit my job and I'm in Granada, Nicaragua with my Sam.  As I write, I'm sitting in by the pool in the kitchen of my hotel, Casa del Agua.

This chair requires a high level of commitment to laziness--I'm ready!

Today is Sam's birthday and he wanted to brush up on his Spanish, so he's off to a class.

He already looks more fluent

Meanwhile, I (being an advanced learner) instantaneously adopted the laid back Latin lifestyle and am completely content to sit around typing away to all of you and enjoying the breeze that is making this courtyard paradise.

Here are a few highlights of the journey so far.  We hit the street yesterday and Sam bought a bag of fruit to start the day.  I know, we are so exciting!  What will they do next?

Then we decided that wasn't enough breakfast and found a cafe that caters to gringos.  Even though we completely blend with the locals, we decided to hang with the tourists for awhile.  While this may be obvious to all of you who are more traveled in Central America, I didn't really anticipate what a big deal courtyards would be in the architecture here.  It is like living in the land of jewelry boxes where every hulking structure contains a beautiful walled oaisis.  At night when they open the doors to catch the breeze you get glimpses of magical gardens everywhere.  This is the courtyard where we ate breakfast:

I am resigned to constantly glistening in the tropics.  

This is me and my lime, pineapple and coconut smoothie.  Try this at home, people!  It is a great combination.

After that we took a nap (I told you, I'm a natural!) and then we went and climbed the bell tower of this church:

The view was spectacular from up top, but I just about had a heart attack climbing the spiral staircase.  It was very authentically narrow and medieval and generally not up to safety codes.  Who needs zip lines or surfing? I'm good for death defying acts now.

After that it was nap time again before we headed to chocolate class.  There we learned everything about making chocolate and ground up our own beans to make drinks like the Mayans, Aztecs and Spanish made them. We also got to make our own candy bars.  It was a good day.

Grinding the cacao beans

Sam posing with our chocolate bars

A Christmas Card

Today I was thinking about sending out Christmas cards.  I've started getting Christmas cards in the mail and I love it.  It is so fun to see all the pictures of friends and family and to tape the collection to the door.  Deep in my heart of hearts, though, I fear that the idea of me getting a Christmas card out to y'all is just a far away dream.  For the last two years I have had detailed plans to send Christmas cards (and even some lovely abandoned drafts of cards), and did any of you get them?  Not so much...

So this year I have decided to try a new experiment.  I am going to put our cards right here on the blog, and you can click on them and print them out if you want to put us on your fridge.  Now since this is the height of laziness, I'm going to make more than one so what I lack in getting-to-the-post-officeness I can make up for in terms of options.

Option number one is our traditional look.

Personally, it is a favorite of mine.

Next I have the more soulful, contemplative look:

Sam never fails me.

And now, for those of you who like a more playful Christmas, I thought I would put together some of our greatest hits.

It has been a lot of fun writing to you all throughout our new marriage.  Thanks for letting us share our lives with you!!

The Mullet Muffin

Some things never go out of style.    

Take for instance, the American (and let's be honest, Eastern European) idea that a haircut can be all things for all situations.  That business in the front, party in the back attitude may not always translate into the best concept for making the impression you want people to remember.  However.  It absolutely translates into the best possible idea for a muffin.  That's where our story takes us today.

For too long I've felt I had to choose between the healthy, homemade, regular sized bran muffin, and the larger than life, cake dressed in muffin clothing at the grocery store.  Honestly, I love them both.  Inspired by a favorite muffin at Big City Coffee in Boise, Idaho, I came up with this muffin that is health on the bottom and a party on the top.  I give you the mullet muffin, named after the plucky haircut that refuses to quit challenging the idea that work and pleasure can't be mixed.

Mullet Muffins (aka, Peanut Butter Bran Muffins)

Makes 12

1 1/2 cups wheat bran

1 cup milk

1/3 cup vegetable oil

1 egg

2/3 to 1 cup brown sugar (recipe says 2/3, I usually add more)

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Grease muffin cups or line with paper muffin liners.

2. Mix together wheat bran and milk; let stand for 10 minutes.

3. Beat together oil, egg, sugar and vanilla and add to buttermilk/bran mixture. Sift together flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Stir flour mixture into buttermilk mixture, until just blended. Fold in raisins and spoon batter into prepared muffin tins.

4. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of a muffin comes out clean. Let cool for 10 minutes.  Frost with peanut butter frosting.

Peanut butter Frosting

1/2 cup butter

1/2 cup smooth, non-healthy peanut butter (some people in our house refer to regular peanut butter as the poison kind.  We compromise with Jiffy Natural, which works)

1 cup powdered sugar

Mix the ingredients with a hand mixer until smooth.  

Much like it's haircut counterpart, in this picture my muffin leaves one a bit underwhelmed.  However, you have to understand that my muffin's appearance and Sam's expression reflect that fact that Sam is (because he loves me) fake-eating a muffin that sat undiscovered in the fridge for two weeks.  I personally think that for the photo Sam was channeling Pip in Great Expectations when he discovers Miss Havisham and her rotten wedding cake.  Consider this your backstage pass to our real lives, but don't let my disturbing imagery dissuade you from making this incredible muffin.

Stay tuned for more frequent posts from Chalkboard House, in which these two cuties:

Also known as Mom and Aunt Pat

 help Sam and I put up our Christmas tree.

I know you will be waiting and wondering, so let me give you this little hint about where we went with the theme this year:  Japanese hunter in a peppermint forest.

Dog Days of Summer

Sam and I, having the discerning culinary palettes that we do, have found a top ten favorite restaurant in Chattanooga that we would like to recommend to you:  the Good Dog.

As you can see from the sign, this is a restaurant dedicated to the art of the hot dog.  Who knew that pimento cheese and hot dogs needed to go together?  In fact, had I ever really thought about pimento cheese at all before becoming a Southern Belle?  Truthfully, no.  I was woefully ignorant.  Happily, all that changed the second I walked into this happy place.

The decor is retro-fabulous with such crazy fun ideas as a condiment bar and cupcake displays.  Just the kind of hipster hangout that makes me feel cool without having to wear those skinny jeans that don't really seem to be working for my body type (may they soon be banished to a "don't" list in fashion-land--especially if I'm going to keep eating pimento cheese hot dogs).

 

Tough to decide who is the cheesiest in this shot

Sam is all about the french fries which are served in wax paper cones that fit neatly into holes carved into the table.   The best part are the gourmet ketchups in flavors like wasabi and curry, which is both our favorites.

If you don't already hang out there, you must give it a try.  And if Chattanooga isn't close to you, I think you should a.) come visit me and I will take you there--my treat! or b.) open your own retro hipster hot dog shop and watch the money fly at your face.  

My final photograph for you today is a window shot that I'm quite pleased with from my favorite Blue Skies gift shop right next door.  Don't tell anyone, but if you come visit me, I'll take you there also.  Try to resist this incredible one time, two for one offer.  Just try.