Sam and Sarah's Ultimate Staycation, Day 1

Last Saturday morning found our hero and heroine with a glorious three day weekend spread out before them like a the scenic expanse of a very empty canyon.  The heroine (having spent a good deal of time and money in a counseling program to learn that she is ever so slightly depressive and needs structure in her life) suggested that if she did not stop sitting on the couch like a lump the faint halo of grumpiness around her could degenerate quickly to boredom, hypochondria, or crying for no real--how do you say it--reason (echoes of earlier blogs, are we catching a theme here?).  Sam, being the excellent husband and supporter (even proponent) of hair brained schemes that he is, agreed that this called for an old fashioned stay-cation.  We made a list of all the things we wanted to do and began the merriment.

But.

As so often happens in the Chalkboard House, the sweetness of life is mixed with the bitter.  And the bitter, bitter pill of this stay-cation is that due to a technical failure that was no one but Kodak's fault all the photographs we took of it were lost with nothing but a "memory card failure error" message to explain why.

Obviously, we were upset.  What could I do?  Not blog?  Never!  Only on days when I don't feel like it could this be an acceptable excuse.  No, there was only one solution:  I was forced to find random pictures from the internet to try and recreate the events of our stay-cation.  

Day 1

Our theme for this day was Atlanta (this may seem like an obvious theme for someone on a stay-cation in Atlanta, but roll with me, I like having theme days).

The first stop to represent Atlanta of course had to be Target.  We live large, what can I day?  Why Target?  Because I

(here played by Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman, because I love her and always will) needed a bike for further adventures

(my bike is played by Wonder Woman's invisible plane, because unfortunately for her she never had an invisible bike).

I hate to break things into rankings, but my favorite part of Day 1 may actually have been riding my new bike around the Target parking lot and the thrill of getting it into the Honda Civic when we thought there was no possible way

(Just pretend the snuggie/lamp/ducky/frame is my bike).  After accomplishing mission GSaB, we went home, recuperated, ate leftovers, and went, to....

The Cyclorama!  This depiction of the Battle of Atlanta is the largest painting and diorama in the world!  It was a lot of fun.  At the gift shop, they had a hat and beard you could put on to look like Abraham Lincoln.  I took a hilarious picture with this on:

(shown here as Wonder Woman and Abraham Lincoln morphed together).  Of course, since we were in the area we had to stop at Atlanta's gourmet ice cream shop, Morelli's, were they make incredible ice cream in crazy flavors like maple bacon brittle, and coconut jalapeno.  Sam kept it traditional with butter pecan

He looked much better than this picture of Vince Vaughn with vanilla ice cream.  And I had Elvis Lives

which is banana, peanut butter, and chocolate.  That would have been enough for one day, but I didn't get my super hero status just by randomly downloading pictures of others.  No!  We kept the party going with a bike ride along the Chattahootchee and a movie night.

Day one was a major success!

City of the Dead

Menacing title, huh?  Well, I don't use it lightly.  After having done extensive research using the infallible resources of the internet and the American Institute of Paranormal Psychology, I can confirm it is 100ish% true. Savannah, Georgia, known primarily for being incredibly beautiful

is also (dum, dum, DUUUMMM!!!) the city of the dead.

You have to hum the Twilight Zone theme song to view this picture.

Now I know there are going to be skeptics out there who don't believe that Blue Orb Ghost Tours are really all that scientific.  Can you deny HISTORY, skeptics!?!  Can you deny that the Yellow Fever, ancient Native American Burial grounds (desecrated and now cursed) and various other disasters led to 25,000 unmarked graves in Savannah that the city was then built over?  Can you deny that any normal citizen just walking along practically trips over bones if they dig only a few feet below the surface at any point in the city?   Can you really look at me and say that you don't believe Voo Doo Witch Doctors even now constantly go to Savannah's squares to dig up bones for their dark arts?

I know that even with these compelling facts you may doubt me.  And I can have compassion for that.  After all, who am I but a humble blogger and tourist?  You can doubt the information I have presented to you from semi-credible sources.  But will you not be moved by my own story?  Here is what I know from personal experience:

Fact #1
Within hours of arriving in the city of Savannah, my brother and sister who I have known their whole lives started acting like crazy people:

Even Sam and I struggled under the influence of this powerful force:

Fact #2
Our hotel was obviously haunted.  How else can you explain the following phenomena?
*  All the ice machines in the hotel "mysteriously" didn't work
*  There was white powder and bits of toilet paper on the floor of the bathroom before we got there
*  The carpet had a strange smell, exactly like the smell Blue Orb Ghost Expert Alabama Tobias described as being the smell of death
*  Minutes after we got in the pool a storm with thunder, lightening, and rain began and we barely made it out of the pool alive
*  When we got up in the morning for the complimentary breakfast the hotel provided it wasn't there


Fact #3

We actually photographed the ghosts our own selves on the Blue Orb Tour.  In these pictures you will obviously see the face of a little girl killed by her father in the windows of this house.  If you look carefully you can also see Toto and the Witch of the West, but that may be a different phenomena:

And is it just a coincidence that Manda and Danny have a strange orange glow while viewing the haunted photos in the haunted hotel?

Of all of us, I think Sam was most affected (probably because he is most in touch with the paranormal).  Days later, he still wore a haunted expression, long after we had left...The City of the Dead.

Open for Business

Friends!  After days of rearranging junk in boxes and stuffing it into closets, drawers and under beds, I'm so pleased to announce that the B & B more commonly known as Sam and Sarah's spare room is now open for business!!!

This NEW queen mattress is featured in our guest suite.  It was hauled up the stairs solo (Sam offered to come home at lunch and help, but somebody has been watching too many Wonder Woman reruns) by me using my incredible upper body strength (thanks to Sam's personal training efforts at the gym), a good deal of leveraging against the stairs, the railings, my face...and just a hint of motivational cursing under my breath.  Linda Carter makes it look so easy...

Not pictured here but absolutely included in your stay is our foosball table (at no extra charge!) and our air mattress, which we use for camping and accommodating larger parties.  I think that with these two beds and our giant chair we can easily sleep 8-12 with confidence.

We have also added an exotic palm plant for your viewing pleasure.  I know, when do the luxuries stop?  Well, they don't stop until you've had your name writ large on the Chalkboard of fame and a new pillow made in your honor!

This isn't just hypothetical, folks.  My brother and sister really did come as our first guests at the B & B.  More like the B & BL&D plus multiple snacks.  We ate more food than was even remotely reasonable:

These kids know how to travel!  Not since Megan in Massachusetts 2006 have I seen people pack so much in to so few days.  Sam and I were left 7 collective pounds heavier and crying for days from exhaustion (okay, the crying was just me).

In the next couple of posts (which I promise won't be weeks apart, really, truly) I plan to take you with us on a tour of Atlanta and beyond.  But for today, I want to highlight the Atlanta Aquarium.  This place is just so darn cool.  And...wait for it...right now, for a limited time only you can go and see it for $15!!!  It is usually $26.  I know.  Book. your. flights. now.  You could save $11 if you get here before November.  Case closed.  I'll be making reservations starting today, first come, first serve.

This bad boy is a whale shark.  The Atlanta Aquarium is the largest in the world with 8 million gallons of water.  We sat in front of this tank for about an hour.  It is so relaxing.  Another favorite of mine are these little buddies:

For me, the aquarium is an incredibly relaxing art museum.  So anyway, if the fish haven't sold you (and obviously that is impossible) then stay tuned for more fun from Mand and Danny's Trip to Georgia!

A Saturn in the Sun

Sometimes it takes a tragedy to help us to know what is important in life.  Lately, as you've noticed, I've let my priorities get all out of order.  My volunteering has started to pick up some speed and I have neglected the tens of twenties of virtual friends who read my blog.  Have I no heart!?!  There is no excuse and I know it.  I got out there in the world and started having a legitimate reason to leave the house three days a week and I just lost my head.  

And then tragedy struck today.  A different heroine,

(Even here she looks a little sad, as if she knows something is coming)

in a different city,

who is my lovely cousin and partner in crime, 

woke up to bad news...

Her vintage car, the delight of her eyes had been stolen, kidnapped right out from under her.  This precious 1993 slate blue Saturn, 

that never said an unkind word to anyone was ripped from her without warning.  This car, that had carried her and all her worldly belongings faithfully and without grumbling from Idaho to California to start a new adventure mere months ago, is now somewhere lost and alone.  I hate to think where our little friend is tonight.  In my mind, a starving mechanic with 10 kids stole her to take his youngest son, Timmy, to the hospital in time for a life saving operation and will return it with an oil change this week as soon as Timmy gets out of the ICU.  

As soon as I told Sam the news of this tragedy, he just looked at me and said, "It's time for my vigil shirt."

We light a candle tonight for you, sweet '93 Saturn.  We remember our happy times riding in you.  We remember 1993 when we sang "I Will Always Love You" with Whitney Houston,  and "The Sign" with Ace of Base, when we taped Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman,  and read John Grisham into the wee hours of the night.

And we say this prayer...

Prayer for Lost Cars 

(adapted from the prayer for lost pets)

Father
We ask you to help us find Megan's Saturn,
our dear car who is now lost.
We know that you placed cars on the earth
for many reasons, including companionship for man.
We therefore ask you to help us find our lost companion,
and pray that You will keep him (her) safe
and protect him (her) from harm until he (she) is found.

We love you Megan!!

Baking with Buttercream

Lately, I've been baking up a storm.   Call it too much time on my hands, call it rolling around in the luxury of having only one man to attract now that I'm married off at last,  call it the tale as old as time that it is: a simple girl in love with a Buttercream KitchenAid Stand Mixer.

This is me on the day I came home from my honeymoon and saw the kitchen aid for the very first time.  Truth be told, even as I was opening it, I knew what it was...

My sister and brother sent this breathtaking appliance to Sam and I as a wedding present.  We have a lifetime of thanking them to do, but now-adays we let our baked goods do the talking.  So come on down Danny and Manda for a big old cake of appreciation!  (Also, for those of you who haven't received a thank you note yet, please don't think we are ungrateful and heartless.  They are still in progress!)

I am not the only one in love with the Kitchen Aid.

This is Sam in a recent KitchenAid Cookie Coma.  I made my Aunt Bev's molasses cookies and they are one bad little bunch of goodness.

I just recently acquired the skills to make these cookies life size on your screen.  I'm ridiculously proud of myself for this accomplishment.


Soft Molasses Cookies
3 dozen cookies


1 cup butter, softened
1 1/2 cups sugar
1/2 cup molasses
2 eggs, lightly beaten
4 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 1/4 teaspoons ground ginger
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cloves
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon


Cream together butter and sugar until lightly colored and fluffy.  Beat in molasses and eggs, set aside mixture.  In another bowl, combine flour, salt, baking soda, ginger, cloves and cinnamon.  Blend thoroughly with a wire whisk.  


Gradually mix flour mixture into creamed ingredients until dough is blended and smooth.  Roll dough into 1 1/2 inch balls.  Dip tops in granulated sugar and place 2 1/2 inches apart on a greased cookie sheet.  Bake at 350 for 11 minutes.  DO NOT OVERBAKE!!  YOU WILL BREAK MY HEART!!!  Cool (after NOT overbaking) on wire rack. Store in tightly covered container to maintain softness.


WARNING:  These cookies do have addictive properties (see picture below) that have not fully been explained yet.  So far, the only potentially harmful effects are possible weight gain, but research is still pending.

The Elephant in the Room

Some of you may remember sweet Orange Grandma Whimsy from a previous post:

Much as I adore OGW, she was always meant to be a temporary measure until my Comfy Chair came into my life. I am ashamed to admit it, but many times have I sat, seething with jealousy, in the comfy chairs of others. You know those smug people who lord it over you in their lovely overstuffed chairs with ottomans. They slump and lounge and sit sideways and develop tremendous reading stamina. Friends, as a job challenged person, I am a woman with hours on my hands and as Nigella Lawson says, "a body built more for comfort than speed." How could I possibly refine my intellect without a Comfy Chair? Thus began the Craigslist search!

It wasn't long at all until I had spotted a beauty. The add showed my chair sitting by the fireplace, lonely and pining for me. I pictured us spending many lovely mornings drinking too much coffee, humming "so happy together" to ourselves. With incredible spy persuasion skills, I acquired the pick up from Sam and went out to rescue my soul-chair.

As I drove to my chair, I soon left apartment-land behind me and started to see the surrounding houses getting bigger and bigger. My GPS led me to a beautiful, but monstrously large home where an incredibly tiny woman led me to my chair. Some people don't believe in love at first sit, but I do. We were meant for each other!

It didn't look that heavy, but it took a family effort to get it to the truck. I got a little bit nervous when I noticed that though it looked perfectly normal in the living room of her house, it filled Sam's entire truck completely. Still, love blinded me. As you can see, she is a jewel among chairs:

The thing about this gorgeous chair is that it is proportional to itself. It isn't exceptionally wide or deep or long. It's exceptionally all of those things at once. So when you take it out of its native environment of a house built for Andre the Giant and put it in the context of our normal sized apartment, it suddenly becomes very, very large. Sam calls it the elephant in the room. It took over our apartment. I had to spend a day rearranging so that we could create a walking path to the kitchen. Sam and I can both sleep sideways in the chair at the same time. I created this visual to show you the elephant in context of normal sized chairs:

The ottoman had to be its own seating area. There is no possible way I could it fit between the chair and the couch. Trust me I tried. The good news is that your feet actually don't touch the floor anyway.

You might be thinking that I regret purchasing what may be in the top ten largest chairs in the greater Roswell area.

Never! I am so happy with my chair. Actually, I take that back. I'm ecstatic.

No matter how much Chick Fil-A Sam and I may eat over the years, when we ask our chair if we are getting too wide she will always reply, "Honey! Your tiny hiney? Don't even worry about it!"

Camp s'more!

Yikes! I left our characters out in the semi-wilderness for longer than I expected. Good thing they had such a cute tent to sleep in:

In case you were wondering, that's Sam, international man of mystery, you are seeing through the tent there. I think these photos will be catalogued in our abstract netting period.

Sam and I have been talking about this camping trip a lot since we got back. It was so much fun to have a last minute adventure. For dinner, (while Sam inflated the air mattress using the only the air out of his lungs) I made a recipe I think everyone is going to want to try. Sam said it is one of my finest.

Peanut Butter and Jelly Surprise

serves 2

4 slices Target Brand (I really must insist on this!) white bread

Target natural peanut butter

Smuckers Squeeze in a Line Style Strawberry Jelly

Target Brand Chocolate Peanut Butter Trail Mix with M & Ms (surprise!)

2-3 hours before you plan to serve the meal, set the natural peanut butter in a hot, humid area. When the paper starts to peel off the jar, it is just about ready. Using a plastic knife, try to incorporate the oil at the top of the natural peanut butter into the rest. Call it good enough when you have a really thin layer of oily peanut butter you can get out of the jar. Place the bread on a limp paper towel. Tip the jar over and pour some peanut butter on the bread. Squeeze the jam in neat lines across the peanut butter. Sprinkle with trail mix, top with a second piece of bread, and wham! You've got yourself a man pleasing sandwich (although it helps if your man is really, really hungry and about to pass out from blowing up an air mattress).

Beverage Recommendation: I think that Cool Blue Gatorade really compliments the nutty flavors of sandwich while maintaining the sweetness levels of the jam.

This trip was the scene of a huge triumph. I accomplished one of my 32 goals for this year. After it was written in ink on the list I thought better of it, but I did it. I give you....a firefly photograph!

Now granted, you have to really look, but that little blur of light is the real thing. Fireflies are one of my favorite things in the world. In fact, I'm pretty sure that Firefly was my street name when I was in a fairy biking gang in my younger years (we were really tough, so don't get any ideas about messing with me now--I'm still Sarah from the driveway).

Another thing on my list of 32 things to get done this year is go on a 12 mile hike. Sam comes from the school of "let's just get it done right now", but I'm more of the "let's do little hikes and think about doing it another day" school. So we compromised and found a six mile hike which led us right to downtown Helen!

I think all hikes should end with fresh coffee and bavarian cream muffins! That is the good life. And please note the change in Sam's expression from earlier in my blog when coffee wasn't a fun time. You will hardly believe me, but he has started coming home from work and asking for coffee. But then, I'm also needing emergency Chick Fil-A stops, so we are learning from each other in this marriage.

They could have hiked another six miles, but they waited for another day.